Things of the month.

1. Dissertations: I finished my English one with a massive sigh of relief. Now I have the slightly soul destroying job of cutting it down to the approved word limit which I went over by about 1000 words. Hopefully now I will never have to read Lolita again!

2. Disney films: They've been in my DVD and video player all month, as seen in my previous Easter post. Since then my sister and I have watched 101 Dalmations and Pocahontas. I think I'm getting alot less cyincal with age because I enjoy these films more now than I would have 7 years ago. I like that. On a related topic - how freaking disturbing is the Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame!? How that got past the censors is baffling, there's so much adult stuff in it.

3. Guitar Hero 3: My dad bought the game and guitar shaped remote yesterday and I immediately thrashed him. Sure, it was on easy but I still beat him. It's kind of pathetic that I can't play a real instrument but that a game is no problem for me. Dad can console himself with the knowledge that he can actually play a real guitar.

4. Persepolis: I haven't seen the film but I bought the graphic novel of the first 2 parts, as seen in the cartoon, and I've read it 5 times since. It's really a magnificent piece of work. Marjane Satrapi keeps her illustrations very simple and stark but it looks so strangely beautiful. By turns both funny and sad, it's incredibly affecting. I prefer the first half of her child-hood story to the parts when she's older though. If you haven't read it I seriously recommend it, it's the alternative autobiography.

5. The Mighty Boosh: Thanks to my slightly off-the-wall cousin, my sister and I have fallen in love with the show. It's so random and nothing makes sense but it's hilarious. I don't think it's for everybody but it's one of the funniest things I've seen in ages. My friends and I have entered the competition to win live tickets so many times it's slightly obsessive. They can sing all the crimps from memory, like what happened at school on Friday. Plus there is something strangely alluring about Julian Barratt. Yet another shameful crush to add to the list.

6. Two Lovers: It isn't out until next year, but I love the poster so I'm posting it. Ohh to be Gwyneth Paltrow here!

Empire's greatest TV shows.

After the embarassment of the Sexiest Movie Stars list compiled by my favourite Movie Magazine (mention it in front of me and the rant will ensue, I'm still not over how bad a list it is) thry have provided yet another questionable reader's poll, this time I can agree with a few things though...

50. Quantum Leap
49. Prison Break
48. Veronica Mars
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
46. Sex and the City
45. Farscape
44. Cracker
43. Star Trek (Original Series)
42. Only Fools and Horses
41. Band of Brothers

40. Life on Mars
39. Monty Python’s Flying Circus
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation
36. Father Ted
35. ALIAS
34. Frasier
33. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
32. Babylon 5
31. Deadwood

30. Dexter
29. ER
28. Fawlty Towers
27. Six Feet Under
26. Red Dwarf
25. Futurama
24. Twin Peaks
23. The Office (Original Version)
22. The Shield
21. Angel

20. Blackadder
19. Scrubs
18. Arrested Development
17. South Park
16. Doctor Who
15. Heroes
14. Firefly
13. Battlestar Galactica (2003)
12. Family Guy
11. Seinfeld

10. Spaced
9. The X-Files
8. The Wire
7. Friends
6. 24
5. LOST
4. The West Wing
3. The Sopranos
2. Buffy The Vampire Slayer
1. The Simpsons

My thoughts:
* I really can't disagree with the number 1 choice. The show is unbeatable when it's in it's prime (seasons 1-10) and even the later day episodes are funnier than half the stuff out there. It's not just the best show, it's the best comedy, best cartoon, you name it.
* Futurama is way too low, I worship Matt Groening.
* South Park and Family Guy should swap places, I just can't stand the latter show. South Park is satirical genius at it's best. I've loved it all my life.
* Father Ted is also too low, especially when you see it below The Office and CSI which are both hideously overrated.
* Nice to see some love for Sex and the City. Despite it's man hating notoriety and hateful characters, it's a very good show.
* I wish Carnivale had made the list, it may have been cancelled after 2 seasons but it was a marvellous show which was unfairly ignored and canned.
* No Whose Line Is It Anyway? For shame.
* Blackadder below Heroes?
* Heroes and Dexter are such recent shows, I'm surprised they made the list. Oh well, it's popularity over quality (But I do quite like Dexter, I just think it's a bit soon to judge it.)

"Two households, both alike in dignity..."

Another theatre trip with my school again, this time my friend and I were the only 6th years, surrounded by scary 3rd years. My sister is a 3rd year so I know how their minds work - it's all insane! Weird discussions aside (including having to tell one boy what necrophilia meant!) it was a beautiful night and the play, Romeo and Juliet, was superb!
It's my 2nd favourite Shakespeare play ever (just below A Midsummer Night's Dream) so I was dying to see it performed live. I adore romance, especially the tragic kind. I'm just like that. I wasn't disappointed by the production. The set was beautiful but all squint so I never figured out why that was. The actors - some of whom were in the last Dundee Rep play I went to see - did their job so well and made me feel drastically inferior. Juliet was a revelation (and the actress has the same surname as me!) and she looked so cute with Romeo. But everytime he came on stage, jumping and squealing with enthusiasm, I couldn't help but note how much he resembled a hobbit! Even my teacher and friend noticed. But Tolkien similarities beside, he was a very different Romeo, full of vibrancy and always jumping about. It was refreshing. My one big quibble is the bani-SHED! Everytime the word banished came up, the made it a 3 syllable word which drove me nuts. I don't know if it was old English just for the purposes of rhyme but it made me cringe. A small problem in an otherwise great production. I'd love to write something good enough for Dundee Rep.

It's finished!

5 days late and scribbled on an old jotter full of my Religious Studies notes, my Advanced Higher English dissertation is finished! My hand is ready to recover - at least until the R.S. one need to be finished. I think it's over the 4500 word limit but it was impossible to economise my words. For those who don't know, I chose to study books that contained an unconventional relationship and show how the author tries to make the reader sympathise with the relationship. They're full of tiny yellow strips of Post-It notes which fits in weell with my freaky organisational skills!
The books I chose were:

Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
Lady Chatterley's Lover - D.H. Lawrence
Brokeback Mountain - E. Annie Proulx

It's been really enlightening to analyse the stories, I found out a lot about the characters. Lolita, a book I quite liked the first time I read it, became my number 1 enemy upon 2nd reading but some analysis showed me just how clever it was. For example, the name Lolita is Spanish and means 'sorrows' which is very fitting for the character. And Humbert means 'brave warrior,' the complete opposite of his true nature. He created a pseudonym for himself and therefore a new identity where he was something else. I'm still in dissertation mode as you can tell! Out of the stories, my favourite was Brokeback Mountain. The best romance stories are those which end tragically and this ending still brings out tears in my eyes. It's short, perfectly formed and not a word is wasted. It also happens to be dreadfully sexy, in a dirty, slightly voyeuristic manner. I'm not looking forward to the typing up...

Happy Easter!

Tis the season for chocolate and doing nothing. Well in my case, Flakes and dissertations. But I did manage to watch a few movies, predominantly of the Disney genre.

Mulan

This is one of my favourite Disney films, even though the modern ones tend to be ignored in favour of the classics. It's a very funny and sometimes emotional tale with a fab female lead and a scene-stealing dragon played by Eddie Murphy. It's also a beautiful movie with epic scope. The mountain scene is spectacular, I can't believe all of those soldiers are unique.

Monsters Inc.

The best Pixar movie ever made in my opinion. It gets everything perfect - the character design (Sully's fur is a work of art), the jokes, the set pieces, the emotional tale without the schmaltz and a briliant premise. Also worth watching for the short shown beforehand, For The Birds (this is on the retro-like VHS I still use!)

The Jungle Book

My favourite Disney film since I was 6, it's lost none of it's charm. Phil Harris voicing Baloo the Bear is one of the best animation voice-overs ever, he's the sort of friends you'd want if he wasn't a cartoon bear. And I defy anyone to watch the King Louie scene and not tap their toes.

Robin Hood

My sister got it as an Easter present instead of an egg, it's a fond reminder of my childhood because I named my favourite cuddly toy after the rabbit Skippy in this film. It's weird to watch it from an older perspective because so much of the film has borrowed scenes and cells from The Jungle Book (Little John is basically Baloo with a paint job, but Phil Harris is still great.) It doesn't spoil it too much for me though, mainly because Prince John is so damn funny!

Hope you all had a great Easter and didn't stuff yourself too much!

Musical Interlude with Mr Felton...

I must admit my love for Tom Felton has been building up a lot recently for no apparent reason but I don't mind. I found this thanks to Drop A Tear In My Wineglass so thank you! It's nice to know that, along with Rupert Grint, there is some talent in the young Harry Potter cast even if it is going unacknowledged.

Phoenix Therapy...

Since I have been banned from my personal home, the Joaquin Phoenix thread on Empire, by some unfair mods who need to take their heads out of their arses, I'm going to relax myself and multi post here, also a way to procrastinate from dissertation writing.

24. Unbreakable (M. Night Shyamalan)

It's the first appearance of my favourite film director on my list. I consider M. Night Shyamalan to be a visual genius with an imagination that shouldn't be contained. Unbreakable is a thriller, a superhero film, a family drama and a character study rolled into one gorgeous package.


David Dunn (Bruce Willis) is the sole survivor of a train crash and is miraculously left without a mark on him. His wife (Robin Wright Penn) sees it as a sign that they should give their ailing marriage a second chance. His son sees him as something special and admires that. But the mysterious comic book dealer Elijah Price (played completely against type by Samuel L. Jackson) knows that there is something super about David and tries to convince him that, while Elijah is fragile and easily hurt because of his brittle bone disease, there are people who are gifted with special powers, unbreakable beings. David is skeptical at first but eventually begins to wonder himself if he is indeed a hero.



As a fan of comic-book movies like X Men and Spiderman 2, I found Unbreakable a wonderful interpretation of the old superhero folklore. It's a bonkers premise (but aren't all Shyamalan films?( but played with such realism. Bruce Willis really impressed me too, I saw this film before The Sixth Sense so couldn't comment on that role. He should do more roles like this instead of Die Hard films. Dressed in a security guard cape, he looks like the world's most reluctant super-hero. Samuel L. Jackson is unbeaten here, so starkly different from his normal 'mother-fucking' sprouting roles. Dressed like a dark avenger who lives in a Bat Cave style gallery, he is eager to prove how special David is, to the point where he becomes slightly stalker-ish.

Ever present is the excellent James Newton Howard score, the beautiful stark imagery of Shyamalan's home city of Philadelphia and the tense atmosphere. There's something deeply satisfying about Shyamalan's obvious geekiness, at the beginning statistics of comic book sales in America are displayed. I've always admired his boldness and enthusiasm with film, he writes and films what he loves. That's why all his movies are set in Philadelphia, why he casts the same people more than once, why he allows Howard to be so creative with music. A lot of emphasis is sadly put on his need for the twist which I think is unfair. I do agree that he'd be better if he dropped a couple of them (The Village is a film I adore but the twist ruined the film for many people and made them think of it as a bad horror, not a beautiful drama/romance/thriller) . This applies to Unbreakable too, the ending is too quickly concluded and I think it dampend things a little. But that final line is chilling. It's very difficult for a film-maker to follow up a major success like The Sixth Sense but I feel that Shyamalan does it.

Top Moments:

- David wakes up in the hospital, confronted by a dazed and confused doctor who explains it all.

- David's son pulls a gun on him, determined to prove hthe truth.

- David, clad in cape, uses his powers.

Favourite Quote:

"They call me Mr Glass..."

Finally!

St Andrews University finally replied to me, giving me a conditional offer that I get a B in advanced higher English. I don't want the offer - although part of my ego did want the complete set of 5 unconditionals - I just wanted to reply to Edinburgh. Now it's all sent away and ready for confirmation. Ooh...very scary.

How awesome is Mad Men!?

It's been a while since I've got really into watching an American drama, Rome and Carnivale being the last shows I got obsessed with. I was looking for something to watch in the 2007/2008 schedules and came across Mad Men, the drama about the advertising executives of 1960s New York. I'm so glad I watched it, now I adore it.

The central character, Don Draper, is excellently played by Jon Hamm and manages to be a total git who you can't help but like. Everybody fits into their roles so well and the costumes are gorgeous, I love the 60s style. The detail is impeccable in every scene. It's also quite frightening to see how un-PC everybody was back then - men could be totally mysoginistic, divorcees were looked at like meat and pregnant ladies smoked and drank. One particular episode included the hunt for a new campaign for cigarettes after it was revealed that they cause cancer. The irony that said executives who say smoking is safe then cough like invalids is delicious.

My favourite character is Betty, Don's wife played by the beautiful January Jones. She's the seemingly perfect suburban house-wife who is slowly falling apart under her own disguise. I feel so sorry for her because she doesn't get treated like an equal by Don, but he does to his mistress. She's such a star. I'm only 3 episodes in but I'm hooked! And with dirty Sexy Money premiering this Friday, things are looking good on the TV front.

Harry Potter on the Daily 10...

This clip is good for a number of reason. One, it's Harry Potter. Two, it features a distinct lack of Emma Watson (must have been practising her eyebrow exercises) and some Rupert with a ccute hairdo. The cutest film critic on trhe planet, the totally adorable Ben Lyons is presenting. And Tom Felton is in it! About bloody time he got some camera space.

The problems with being a pet-shop girl...

I like my job. It isn't as life changing as curing illness or serving coffee like my sister, but there's something quietly fulfilling about feeding fish, bagging seed and pricing things. However, the job does come with a few nagging elements.

It seems like people think because the shop is small and not part of a big chain of stores, they can take me for a mug. Well, no. My biggest problem is change. It's so annoying when somebody hands me a £20 note for something that cost less than a few pounds when I know that they have extra change because I can see it! So I ask them if they have any smaller notes and they say no! So the till gets tanked of all the spare £1 coins and smaller coins because of some lazy person. But I have to smile and bear it when all I'd rather do is sneer "Do I look like a change machine?" I'm essentially full of a lot of rage. Here's another irritation: snobs. Lots of people think they can come into the shop and demand service when I'm already busy with something else. They then proceed to look down their noses at me and snort. You'd think we were living a few hundred years ago, not 2008. One time, a lady actually rolled her eyes at me and muttered something rude which I was too enraged to remember right now. I don't know if it's because I'm young or alone in the shop or just because some people are gits!

Today I had the misfortune to serve two people who smelled of alcohol, one who smelled a whole lot worse and the town pervert (best boobs of 2007, Pamela knows who he is! :D) That guy freaks me out, way too many rumours, most true, going around about him. Radio 1 also creates a problem. I am one move away from hunting down Vernon Kay and strangling him. Don't talk over a record, just play the whole thing! But the thing I hate most about my job is my lunch hour. Or lck of. I am not allowed to close up the shop to eat my lunch, I have to alternate between eating and serving people. Since I love to eat it's really annoying for me to not be able to concentrate on my food. I'm sure it's illegal too. But I need the money because impending university and the subsequent debt is calling hard and fast!

Harry Potter split in 2!

Empire Online broke the news to me which is a perfect chance to drag out some icons. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be made into 2 movies, released 6 months apart. As a hard-core fan, I have mixed opinions. It means that I'll be able to drag out the hype for much longer and have something to hold on for since the books are over. Plus there won't be anything major cut out. However, this isn't all good news. It means that the whole over-killed camping scene will be in it's entirety. Yikes. And call me cynical but this does sound like a bit of a cash in on Warner Brothers' part. Let's not forget that Harry Potter is the most successful film franchise of all time and worth billions. Making fans pay twice to see it all is devious and clever. The first part isn't exactly going to be full of action compared to the 2nd part which has one of my all time favourite scenes in it, the final Hogwarts battle. That's going to be great, if only for the massive role call of almost every character in the series and Mrs Weasley's burst of the B word! I have no idea when they'll split the film in 2 (my guess is near the camping scene. Something like the Famous Five with more death). Oh well, I'm so excited that it's going to be made but sad that the movie end is near. Does this mean I'll have to buy 2 DVDs? Those sneaks! But if you sign up for an obsession, you've got to pay the bill.

The Village - Noah Visits

Listen to this on your own for a few minutes and remember there are some pretty things in this world...

Things I wish I'd seen...

* My grandparents' weddings.
* Woodstock 1969.
* J.K. Rowling's "Deathly Hallows" book reading at Edinburgh Castle.
* The live taping of the last ever Friends episode.
* The opening night of Raiders Of The Lost Ark.
* Queen live (my gran has seen them, so jealous).
* The Cannes Film Festival, any year.
* Javier Bardem at the Oscars after party singing "Sympathy for the Devil."
* Scotland beating England after the 1966 World Cup and the subsequent pitch raid.
* The very first performance of Romeo and Juliet.
* New York City on New Years' Eve.
* Emmeline Pankhurst leading a suffragette protest.
* The filming of the "Jackson" scene in Walk The Line.
* The Lady Chatterley trial.

Dinner date with a movie-star (of sorts...)

Emma from All About My Movies tagged me with a nice little chance to avoid watching whatever film my parents have on right now. The lack of blogging has unsettled me and I need to get back on the wagon!

1. Pick a single person past or present who works in the film industry who you'd like to have dinner with and tell us why you chose this person.
I'm going to assume here that Joaquin Phoenix is not allowed because everyone who frequents here knows that he is on my list for everything. So, to be a little different I am going to choose...

James Newton Howard

(Congratulations, Kayleigh. You've just made the most pretentious comment of your life!). Okay, I wanted to go off the beaten track a little but I genuinely adore this man. He composed my favourite film score ever for The Village and since I first heard the music I've adored his work. I even squealed a little bit with happiness when I found out that he'd been Oscar nominated this year for Michael Clayton. He's only recently becoming one of the bigger names in composing, with work in Batman Begins (with Hans Zimmer) and King Kong. Music is one of the most important aspects of a film and it's something I don't know a whole lot about. Who better to get the info from than my favourite?

2. Set the table for your dinner. What would you eat? Would it be in a home or at a restaurant? And what would you wear? Feel free to elaborate on the details.
I can't cook and there aren't a whole lot of fantastic places to eat in my town or region. So I would go to Edinburgh. It's been a silly dream of mine to eat dinner in Princes Street Gardens on a hot, sunny day with a beautiful table of food surrounded by flowers, so I'd do that. There would be plenty of cake! I'd wear something smart but comfortable. There's a dress on the Some Odd Rubies website that I've been lusting after for ages now. (Click on The Goods and it's the top right hand dress with the girl flipping her hair.)

3. List five thoughtful questions you would ask this person during dinner.
1) You've provided the scores for all of M. Night Shyamalan's films. What is he like as a director to work with? How do you work together when making the music? Does he direct you or give you free reign? The Village is so bloody beautiful, especially because of the violinist Hilary Hahn. How did you find her and how did you know she'd play so beautifully?
2) Why music? How did you become inspired in the first place to enter the world of music, and film scoring in particular?
3) When you sign to a film to provide the score, how do you go about putting the right sounds together? Do you ever worry about doing it badly? Can you hear the music in your head when you're writing it down, or does it all build up gradually?
4) Hans Zimmer has been criticised for using a lot of his own work and rehashing it for other films, the Pirates of the Caribbean films being the prime example. Do you ever worry about becoming samey yourself? How do you keep things fresh? Is there even such a thing as a completely original score?
5) What is your favourite piece of film music and why?Who inspires you?

4. When all is said and done, select six bloggers to pass this Meme along to. Link back to Lazy Eye Theatre, so that people know the mastermind behind this Meme.

Right, since I don't have 6 bloggers I can post to I shall just pick Adele (This is Adele) and Justine (Film Nut Inc)

I shall leave with with proof of Mr Newton Howard's genius, partnered with some of my favourite things - Shyamalan, Bryce Dallas Howard, yellow, Joaquin...seriously, I want a guy to be like this for me.

Parlez-vous Francais?

Argh stupid broken computer!
Well, yesterday I had my French speaking exam. It actually went pretty well, or so I hope. The SQA examiner was really nice and put me at ease. I ended up not using half of the stuff I revised and spent most of the 20 minutes talking about literature because it's my passion. Also, in a moment of panic, I said Jean-Pierre Jeunet was my favourite director even though I've only seen two of his films. Oh well, I wasn't being marked on honesty. The worst part was all the waiting. But now it's over and I can fully concentrate on my dissertations.
Wednesday was a busy day too, with the Post Application open day in Edinburgh University. I feel even more confident that I've made the right choice with my university. It was great to hear from other students and see what the accomodation was like. I still don't know whether to apply for the Pollock Halls, complete with catering and my own room, or the flats, with cheaper rent and strangers for room-mates. My only problem with the whole thing was my parents. I think I would have been a lot less shit scared of leaving home if they weren't there next to me. It was like a constant reminder that I can't rely on them much for any longer. Scary! The whole thing was made worse by a revelation I found out about my sister. She feels like I'm getting all the attention right now because of the university stuff but it's not true. I'm gonna miss her like mad.
But one of the best things about the day was the food! We went to a Chinese buffet and it was the same place where J.K. Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book! Cue excited squealing from me!
I'll leave you with my favourite song of the moment by the Guillemots.

Ugh, so overrated!

I was having a discussion today with my parents and my grandmother about our favourite funny shows (brought on by a Radio Times article on the best TV putdowns) and I was shocked to find out that my mother does not find Monty Python funny! It's not right - I adore the films and TV show (who doesn't love the dead parrot sketch?) and thought it ran in the family because me and my dad can quote Life Of Brian for hours and still wet ourselves laughing. We almost caused my gran to die laughing just by quoting the Black Knight scene from The Holy Grail!
However, I know what it's like to hate something everybody else loves. So here is my list of things I hate that everyone else loves.

Lost In Translation
I know I'm not the only on that considers this atrocious piece of trash to be unworthy of it's praise, so in that respect I'm sort of cheating here. But every time I read a critic fawn over Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanasson's comatose performances or the Oscar stealing script, I want to vomit! No way on earth does this film deserve any of that. I haven't been so bored watching a film since geography class and Mr Strachan (a complete legend in the field of internet teaching but god, he can't present or make statistics fun!) Yes, it's quite pretty to watch and Sofia Coppolla has talent, but it's more evident in The Virgin Suicides and Marie Antoinette. It's turgid, pretentious, stale and frustrating. Maybe one day people will come to their senses but for now, I'll continue to rant of how I hate this!

Mark Ronson
Seriously, what does this guy do? He won Best British Male at the Brits but he isn't a singer. Hell, he isn't even a good producer! He simply adds horn sections to songs by other artists that were perfectly good before he clawed them before, gets one of his 'friends' to sing it then takes all the credit! His version of Valerie (a lovely song by The Zutons) is horrible and don't even get me started on Oh My God. I'm sick of producers in music taking all the credit for doing nothing.

Radio 1
I can only get the reception for one radio station where I work and it's sadly this. Every DJ (except for the down-to-earth and genuinely sweet Edith Bowman) is annoying, loud and stupid. Jo Whiley in particular gets right up my nose! She's always interrupting the songs to remind everyone listening who she is, emphasises that it's HER show and she can do whatever SHE wants and swears as if it makes her cool. Simon Amstell once joked that the only reason she constantly goes on about what bands are hot and new is because she's afraid to die and I think he's right. All the bands she discovers are monotonous and sound the same. For a ong time I thought Scouting For Girls and The Wombats were the same band! They play the same songs about 3 times a day, are obnoxiously dumb and patronising. Sometimes, I just turn off the radio and listen to the budgies instead.

It Girls
Exterminate them all! People like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie sicken me. After all that women did a hundred years ago to earn the right to vote and prove to men that they weren't stupid, people like those parasites waltz in and drop their knickers, acting like children with sky high libidos to get whatever they want. It bothers me that my mum works about 40 hours a week, does all the housework and puts up with all the crap that arises in our lives and is seen as nothing special but those Hilton sluts are reveered as goddesses! They've never worked a day in their lives. My new disgust has been saved for a girl called Heidi Montag. I don't know who she is, or what she does or even if that's her real name. But from watching E! I can make out that she's a surgery obsessed, shallow, talentless, fame hungry slut from a reality TV show. When did humanity turn into this? And on that note...

Reality TV shows
Get rid of them now! The last thing the world needs is another bunch of fame seekin losers who can't be bothered to get a job. Big Brother is almost concrete proof that i'm right in being an athiest. It's bear baiting for humans and by watching it, the viewer is a voyeur with major issues. We've given up making real TV shows. What type of executive cancels Rome and Carnivale, but allows Big Brother to go on for god knows how many seasons? The X Factor is just as bad, taking advantage of those stupid people who have been told they can't sing, then putting them on show like a freak circus! Call me a snob, but I'd rather staple my eyes together than watch any of those shows, despite the fact that they seem to be dominating TV.

Ricky Gervais
I expect to be shot for putting this up, but the simple truth is I can't stand him. I have watched one episode of The Office and one episode of Extras and I didn't laugh once. I smiled more watching the necrophilia scene in Quills (but certain movie-stars whom I worship do take their top off in that scene so that's okay). It's painfully unfunny and really pointless. It might be because I'm Scottish (he isn't that popular up here) or because I prefer the comedy of Billy Connolly, Bill Bailey and Frankie Boyle. But he realy annoys me. What annoys me more is that everybody else in the world is falling over themselves to worship the man. It's just what he wants. Everyone gives him bucketloads of awards then he does nothing but talk about how he's so loved and has run out of places to put his countless awards! I smiled when he crashed and burned at the concert for Diana because it was a nice reality check for him. The smug smile had been wiped away and I couldn't have been happier. Hopefully the rest of the world will take heed and order him a taxi. Where to - I don't mind, just not here.

Now that my soap-box has given way, I'll open the floor to anyone who wishes to scream their own controversial opinions or tell me to stop being stupid with mine.

It's War!

My god, I can't wait to get out of that school. I love seeing my friends and my classes are so much fun but, for quite some time now, it's become quite obvious to me that a war is going on in my school between the pupils and teachers and I don't think it's going to end well for either side.
It really hit the brink yesterday in my favourite class, Advanced Higher R.S. with my friend Pam the Catholic *wave* Our teacher, a total legend, is a really laid-back man with a good sense of humour. A lot of horrible people take advantage of him but they're just jerks. Sadly I have to admit that my class do it a little too - we never work on a Friday and often order food and get a 5th year to get us it from Tesco. But yesterday we really tipped him over the edge. A girl left early without his permission, saying she was going to a dentist appointment (she was going to see her boyfriend really.) So we told our teacher and his reaction was so unlike anything we've ever seen him like. He actually threw some papers across the table and growled about how he was sick to effing death of being taken for a mug by 6th years. Our class went silent and I felt so guilty. We just didn't know what to say.
It got worse.
The other teacher in the department is a man who I don't really care for but Pam is his biggest supporter so I can't say anything. He's pretty unpopular amongst the students for his lack of teaching skills (if I told you what he did once, I'd get in serious trouble) and trying to get down with the kids. He can't control a class either. So yesterday, as we all sat in silence, a girl from the class next door stormed through and said she was never going back in the class with that man again. He came through to sort if out but that didn't end well, he did nothing.
I just don't know what to say or how to react. I feel like such a child and don't want people to be so childish anymore. I want to feel more grown up because of impending university (Edinburgh open day on Wednesday - eek!) but I still feel so young and silly amongst the high school. The teachers can't win. If they try to relax and treat you like an equal, others moan about it or take the piss. But if they instigate some form of punishments then they're an ogre. Maybe when I'm an adult it'll be easier. But I don't feel ready to be an adult. I'm so shit scared...